Storm Area 51, They Can't Stop All of Us
by TheFireWalker
Summary: When the Weeb Army appears at the Storm Area 51 event, they Naruto run right past the guards (with a little extraterrestrial help) so they can see them aliens.


**Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Do NOT raid Area 51.**

**Chapter 1: The Run**

"If we Naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Let's see them aliens."

I awoke to that voice. Who was that? It wasn't a familiar voice. I had lived in the Area 51 base since my spaceship crash landed here years ago. And I had never heard a voice quite like that before.

The guards in the base all seemed frantic and chaotic.

"I can't believe those morons actually came here," one of the guards muttered.

"Protect LGM at all costs," the lieutenant said, pointing at me. "Those weebs better not find it or any other trace of alien life."

"Roger!" the others said with a salute.

I closed my eyes. Using my mind's eye, I surveyed the outside perimeter. I wanted to see these "weebs" for myself.

A large group of humans stood outside at the gate. Each of them looked kind of... dorky. Some of them wore strange outfits and had brightly colored hair.

One of the intruders stood in front of the others. He wore a orange and black jacket with a white cape. The cape had the Japanese characters for Fourth Fire Shadow. His forehead was covered by a headband with a swirling design the resembled a leaf. "We are the Weeb Army! Nothing can stop us! Now let's see them aliens!"

The crowd roared and cheered louder than any noise I had ever heard before. They seemed interesting. Much better than the boring old lieutenant anyways.

A group of U.S. soldiers gathered around the gate. Each one was armed with a powerful gun.

The soldier in the front pointed his gun at the Weeb Army. "Alright, you dumb asses. If you move another step, I am authorized to use lethal force. This is your only warning."

"Come on, Weeb Army! Let's raid Area 51! They can't stop all of us!"

The weebs charged forward. But their style of running was very odd. They each ran with their arms outstretched behind them. Perhaps this was a unique battle strategy?

"Damn nerds," the soldiers muttered as they opened fire on the weebs.

The weebs in the front row all collapsed on the ground, bloody and dead. I had expected them to put up more of a fight.

One of the weebs tripped over a dead body and got himself shot as well.

Their leader yelled out as his friend died. "Baka!"

The dead friend, whose name was apparently Baka, only inspired the others to continue running in the strange formation.

But with the weebs all being mowed down so quickly, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I guess it's back to boring days again. Or...

I used my mind reading abilities to scan the minds of the Weeb Army. They were all imagining themselves as ninja from another world capable of impossible feats. Luckily for them, I had the power to make those thoughts real. And I was bored, so why not?

First, I had to stop them from dying so easily. They had said this "Naruto run" would make them fast enough to dodge bullets. Clearly that wasn't the case. Until now...

My eyes glowed as I channeled my innate abilities. The weebs sped past the soldiers at a blinding speed, just as they imagined.

"Holy hell," one of the soldiers said with a gasp.

"Guys, we're doing it! We're real ninja," the weebs exclaimed.

Their leader nodded. "Now let's see them aliens."

Jeeps filled with more soldiers approached, shooting on sight. But the weebs were too fast for them.

The Weeb Army began to sing in triumph. "We're the weebs in America, woah. We're the weebs in America, woah. We're the weebs. We're the weebs. We're the weebs in America."

Lieutenant Stick-in-the-Mud slammed his fists on the desk. "Damn it! Somebody get those weebs!"

As they continued Naruto running through the desert, one of the weebs hung up a phone and yelled to the Weeb Army leader. "I've got bad news. Keanu's not gonna be able to make it in time. Should we abort the mission and come back when we have more backup?"

The leader shook his head. "We're in too far to turn back now. Besides, we're fighting dreamers."

"Right," the other weeb nodded.

The leader started singing a different song. "We are fighting dreamers..." His voice trailed off, then picked back up again. "Fighting dreamers."

It seemed as though he didn't know all the lyrics. Or perhaps he just didn't want his enemy to hear the song. Some type of secretive power boost maybe? Either way, Fighting Dreamer charged forward with the rest of the Weeb Army.

A line of Jeeps blocked their path. More Jeeps approached from the sides. The weebs were surrounded.

A weeb wearing a long black jacket decorated with red clouds stepped closer to the Jeeps. "Don't worry, I've got this. If the Naruto run worked, then so should this. Fire Ball Jutsu!"

But nothing happened. I scanned his mind to see that he was picturing a large fireball coming out of his mouth.

"Baka, that didn't do anything," Fighting Dreamer scolded him.

Hm. Strange. I thought the other weeb was named Baka.

Either way, Baka repeated the line. "Fire Style: Fire Ball Jutsu!"

This time, I used my psychic abilities to materialize a giant fireball that launched from Baka's mouth. The fireball blasted the Jeeps and cleared the way for the Weeb Army to continue running forward.

"The secret base where they're keeping the aliens is probably underground. Look for a way in," Fighting Dreamer instructed.

A female weeb with spiky silver hair stopped running. She wore a headband that covered her left eye. "This looks like a job for the Cosplay Queen. Summoning! Earth Style: Fanged Pursuit Jutsu!"

I read her mind and conjured a pack of dogs in front of her.

"Find the secret base," Cosplay Queen commanded the dogs.

The dogs sniffed the desert ground and located a secret passage into the underground base. But the door was guarded by more soldiers.

"Rasengan!" Fighting Dreamer yelled as I projected a swirling ball of energy into his hand. The Rasengan slammed into the soldiers, knocking them unconscious.

Lieutenant Stick-in-the-Mud, who was still in the underground base with me, grew angrier and angrier with each passing second. "Kill every last one of them!"

Soldiers approached from behind the weebs. Jets flew overhead, shooting frantically at every weeb.

One of the weebs, who was carrying a large pillow the size of a person, stood in between the approaching soldiers and the rest of the Weeb Army.

"My waifu and I got this covered," he said as he held up the pillow. I could see the image of a half-naked girl on the pillowcase. Strange. And apparently, the pillow's name was Mai Waifu.

"Fucking degenerate," a soldier said as he shot holes into the pillow.

"No! Mai Waifu!" the boy yelled as he collapsed, holding the pillow in his arms.

How curious. I had used my powers to make sure the bullets didn't hit the weeb. But apparently, the loss of his pillow, Waifu, caused him to lose the will to fight.

"Come on. Let's go," another weeb said as he tried to drag Pillow Boy.

"Just go on without me," Pillow Boy said through sobbing tears. "I want to spend my last moments with Mai Waifu."

Pillow Boy started grinding his crotch against the pillow. Perhaps this was some strange healing ritual? I read the boy's mind to see... Oh. Oh my. Um, well, I could use my powers to make that real, but, um, let's see what the other weebs are doing...

Most of the weebs had made it into the underground base. But a few stragglers were still surrounded by soldiers.

Cosplay Queen stayed by the door to make sure all the weebs made it in. Then she removed her hair to reveal another layer of hair underneath. Huh. I didn't know humans had two layers of hair. She placed a new batch of hair on her head. This one was a bowl cut of dark hair.

"Hidden Lotus!"

Cosplay Queen moved even faster, punching the guards with a blinding speed. When the last of the weebs had made it inside the base, Cosplay Queen jumped into the entryway.

Lieutenant Stick-in-the-Mud grinded his teeth in frustration. "Looks like I'll have to take care of the weebs myself."


End file.
